


Stay with me

by book_of_cress



Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is A Weeb, Black Clover Manga Spoilers, Denial of Feelings, Dry Humping, Fluff, Getting Together, Incest, Internal Conflict, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, No cheating, Oral Sex, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Semi-Public Sex, Sibling Incest, Use of Japanese honorifics, and 'nii-san', minor mention of past abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28001784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/book_of_cress/pseuds/book_of_cress
Summary: Finral and Finesse are engaged and close to be wed - and Langris couldn't be happier for the both of them. But he grows frustrated as he suspects his brother is running away from his responsibilities again. Meanwhile Finral struggles with a dilemma that involves Langris and that could lead to his younger brother confronting feelings he has been running away from a long time himself.OR: Finral and Langris discover their brotherly love isn't so 'brotherly' when they start making out in an alleyway during a party.
Relationships: Finral Roulacase/Langris Vaude, Langris Vaude & Finesse Calmreich
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Stay with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please head the tags. There isn't much happening in the first chapter, but if this isn't your thing, refrain yourself from wasting your own time by reading or commenting. However, if you're exactly here for them, hop right in.

While still regarded somewhat conceited in rumours, Langris Vaude has rebuilt his image as an easy-going, polite and charming noble. But if there were one person who easily shattered that front it would be his brother. 

Irritatedly he tapped his fork as said brother drawled over the menu card the waitress held before him, his eyes dreamily resting on her as she recited the shop’s specials. 

This was not what he had in mind when he got an invitation for tea.

It has been a while since the last time Langris considered putting holes into Finral; their relationship had improved a tantamount since Finral had taken up his lazy bum and promised to work harder. Moreso when Langris saw the fruits of his efforts and that he would keep to his promises. 

Finral hadn't been lying when he had shouted in defiance that he would make the Black Bulls the strongest squad: after taking down the Dark Triad two years ago, the squad’s fame rose through the roofs. And though Ledior kept on rejecting Finral, the latter kept up in his persistence. With Finral’s achievements during the war against Spade, even Ledior had to acknowledge them. It came to the point that he had made Finral the successor, which subsequently annulled Langris’ engagement to Finesse, turning Finral into her new fiance.

Langris had no objections. Rather, a huge burden fell off of his shoulders. A part of him wished Finral had worked for his position from the start, and as long as he put up a _fair_ fight and _deserved_ to win it, Langris would step down very willingly. 

Finesse and he remained friendly. The annulment didn’t change anything between them as they spoke to each other as before, now with a courteous distance as is required of a bachelor to a lady that is spoken for. His bond with Finral improved too, and they made appointments to meet up almost every week. Finral excitedly informed him of any events in his life, and Langris did so in turn, offering advice on how to handle house matters on top of that. It left Langris feeling more at ease. With the exception of an odd, occasional pang of jealousy creeping on whenever Finral talked of him and Finesse. But he shoved that aside. 

Yes, their relationship was for the better now, to the point they could have regular tea dates like these. But Finral _sure liked to test his patience_. 

Now the fool was laughing sheepishly and asked the waitress to repeat something, again. The poor blonde looked lost. It was embarrassing. And Langris believed Finral had already gotten over his flirtatious nonsense for the sake of Finesse-san. 

_Stupid nii-san_. 

Langris interrupted them curtly, “We would like to order two Stella Cherry Tart Deluxes, Blueberry Hill tea for me and Vanilla Black tea for my companion, please.” 

The waitress bowed and glanced both in relief and terror at Langris as she scurried away from the smoldering death look he was giving off. 

Finral didn’t seem to notice it at all. “How do you know I have been craving Vanilla Black?”

Langris deadpanned, “Finesse-san mentioned it's all you ever drink lately. You don’t mind that I decided on your order?” _And interrupted your precious time with that girl_. But he didn’t say that out loud. Yet. 

Finral laughed softly. “You know that I am not that fond of pastry like a certain someone. And I don’t mind sharing. I always do.”

He rested his head on his hand and teasingly winked, the creases around his eyes framing them prettily. Langris made a hmph sound and looked away. He forgave Finral for calling him a glutton indirectly if it meant that they'd go to his favourite bakery shop for his sake. And that his brother regularly placed the same order so he could take it as his seconds. 

“You’re still a pushover, nii-san.” 

Finral laughed again. “If it satisfies you, what’s the harm?” 

Langris smirked. “So you don’t mind paying the full check either?” 

“Please, you know that’s not what I meant,” Finral smiled tenderly, “I just like spending time with you.”

A blush crept onto Langris’ face. Alright, he would delay his brother's death sentence. For now. If the blonde lass returned and he still fawned over her, there was hell to pay however. Finesse-san deserved better with the possibility of their marriage looming ever closer. 

The waitress approached them soon enough and laid down their order. Luckily for Finral he hadn’t the mind to give her the eye like before. _Good_ , Langris thought. 

The food distracted him quickly from his thoughts. Several cherries decorated the hearty sweet and the warm sunlight basking down on them brought out the dark red of his favorite fruit. He made a satisfied noise and the dimple near his brother’s mouth grew. 

Finral looked up. “Do you want two sugar cubes in your tea like usual?”

“It’s fine, I’ll get them myself.”

They reached over to the sugar bowl at the same time, touching each other accidentally. Their eyes met; Langris wanted to excuse himself before he caught that weird, dreamy look on his brother’s face again. Finral stared a beat too long, and then snapped out of it. His hand flew back, almost knocking over his beloved tea. A few droplets spilled on his palm and he hissed. 

“Nii-san!” Langris’ chair scraped back as he half-stood, but Finral waved him down, assuring he was fine. Slowly he sat back, narrowing his aquamarine eyes. Maybe his brother hadn’t meant to flirt after all; he was acting as skittish as an untamed horse. 

“You’re totally out of it.”

Finral awkwardly shrugged, dabbing a napkin at his hand.

“You shouldn’t be so nervous about the wedding. You have everyone’s blessing, and the royal family’s approval.”

Finral stared into his teacup as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. He answered after a moment, “Only Father officially approved of it. We could choose a date to hold it, but nothing more. Nothing is settled or paid for.”

Langris pricked into his tart and sighed. “Then set a date.”

“We will get to it. I need to discuss it with Finesse-san first.” Before Langris could inquire about the vagueness of his answer, Finral clapped his hands. “Speaking of which, my squad mates are throwing me a bachelor’s party in two weeks!”

“Look at you, celebrating the end of your womanizing career at the age of 24. Congratulations, nii-san.”

“Sarcastic as always, I see.” 

Langris shrugged. Finral sighed and explained the location and details of the party, gushing about how much he loved his friends and Langris nodded along until Finral stopped. He shifted around as if he was about to say more, and instead settled on nervously taking a sip of his tea. But with the large gulp he took, he burned his tongue and cried out. Langris could only observe the spectacle in amusement. 

That his brother could get so thrown off guard because of his childhood love finally coming to fruition was endearing in a way. It also hurt a little. But Langris was above such feelings. 

“Come on, you can take that cup of tea on. I believe in you, nii-san,” he quipped. 

“Haha, very funny.”

“Anyway,” Finral scratched the back of his head, “I was wondering… whether you would like to come too?”

Langris paused mid-bite. “Me? Amongst your Black Bulls friends? You think that’s smart?”

Finral fiddled with his hands. “Yeah, why not?”

“You do recall that the shrimp and I still cannot get along at all, right?”

“Langris, we talked about this,” Finral said sternly and Langris made a face. 

“You’re very well aware that whenever A-As… Asta and I are in the same room a fight breaks out,” Langris dragged out the name with difficulty and Finral rolled his eyes at his pettiness. 

He sighed. “That’s a day like any other for the Black Bulls,” he leaned forward, “and I really want you to be there, if you do have the time.”

Langris hummed. He wondered why his brother sought him out so urgently now - for a party of all things - when he seemed to ignore Langris for the past month. He predicted that he would have asked him for a favour or advice regarding the marriage; that topic hadn't been broached during the whole conversation, however. But said brother gave him the puppy eyes look, and that meant Langris had to put aside any of his doubts because he automatically lost the fight. _Damn his brother_. 

“Fine. However I will not pay for any costs due to repairs and you must treat me according to the sum of emotional distress damages I will have to suffer for this. Anything that happens will be your responsibility, not mine.” With finality the younger man took a spoonful of his tart. Finral beamed with delight. 

“That’s settled. And hey, maybe you can finally meet the girl of your dreams there.” He winked.

Langris swallowed abruptly. “I am not interested.”

“Awww. Why won’t you give it a chance? There are so many fine ladies who would totally die to go out with a looker like you!”

The conversation veered into uncomfortable territory. He chewed longer than necessary to construct an acceptable explanation. “It would be unbecoming to look for a partner when Father and Mother might need me to tie our relations with another House.”

“Don’t worry so much. It’s your life. ‘Create your own path, even if you have to crush fate’, like Captain Yami says. Or…” and Finral pointed conspiratorially, “...is it that you already have someone in mind?”

Certain embarrassing memories sprung up and oh, did Langris not want to confront those. Not at any moment but certainly not in Finral’s presence. 

Yet Finral’s beautiful eyes shone with an earnest interest and he looked somewhat… hopeful? Langris’ chest tightened and blossomed with unwarranted warmth. But he was above that too. “Romance isn’t and never will be a primary interest for me like it is to you, nii-san. And you should stop prying in business that doesn’t concern you.” Leaving his seat, he bridged the distance between them and pinched Finral’s nose, who yelped in pain. 

“What was that for?”

“For being tactless and ignoring that poor, delicious looking cherry tart.” He nodded at Finral’s food that sat largely untouched. Finral gaped a bit before they started their usual routine. Finral offered the tart to him predictably, and Langris handed him half the amount of the bill and waited to the side. 

Langris studied Finral from there. Finral’s shiftiness still bugged him. It was as if he had momentarily reverted to his timid self from years back. But he was calling the waitress casually, and as she came over and packed the tart on his request, he acted normal. If anything, it looked like the waitress herself wanted to keep him about as long as possible without his blundering, blushing now as they exchanged pleasantries. She scurried in the shop once more, and Finral - too kind for his own good - stood there waiting. Several women that passed him by attempted to draw his attention but he was nonplussed.

Langris sighed. Honestly, for an ex-philanderer Finral sure was unaware of what an effect he had on people at times. He possessed a natural charm that bewitched others and his kindness quickly endeared him to them. With his slender frame, wavy brown hair, lazy purple sapphire eyes he was nothing short of handsome. And his ever-growing confidence served only to accentuate those good points. 

It was something Langris was painfully aware of since his childhood and that had fueled his former obsession with Finral. 

His cheeks heated and he balled his fist. Maybe Langris’ old jealousy was playing up and that prompted him to scrutinize his actions? Maybe he had grown so accustomed to Finral’s presence that not seeing him for a month made his anxiety spike too. 

And maybe, he could even say he had missed him. Just a little. 

“Langris!!”

Disturbed, Langris could hear blood pound in his ears. Finral ran up to him, all but sparkling with joy and Langris averted his eyes.

“Took you long enough.” The words lacked any real bite, so Finral laughed. 

“Sorry for that, Langris. Hmm? Are you alright?”

Langris mumbled, “The sunlight today is harsh. It's hurting my eyes a little, that’s all.” He quickly pointed at Finral’s hands. “What’s that other package?” 

Finral’s mouth shaped into an ‘O’ and he scratched the back of his head. “That kind girl offered me an extra cake special. It was why it took longer. But it was on the house!” 

“Oh.” 

His insides went cold. Langris strode forward, not caring to give him an earful anymore. A piece of cherry cake stopped him abruptly in his tracks as it materialised out of thin air in front of his face, followed by his brother’s arm. 

Langris looked unamusedly at the spatial portal as if it were a Jack in the box toy. Finral’s head popped out along and he chuckled. “I asked for a cherry one. I got it for you. I’m sorry for making you wait when you already made time in your schedule for me.”

Langris took it hesitantly. Petty satisfaction strutted out of his volatile emotions upon realising Finral had accepted it for his sake alone.

“No, it’s alright. I am sorry for my reaction.” Finral stepped out completely, waving his apology down with a ‘no worries’. 

They walked together now, matching each others’ pace. During the afternoon hour noise and people filled the streets to the brim, store lakeys and market owners promoting their wares, and commoners going about their day. Finral gently led Langris, his arm occasionally wrapping around his middle, avoiding a dust cloud from a man beating his carpet with wind magic and bypassing a group of screaming children. Langris himself knew better than letting one of those critters knock into him, having lost a bag of yul with such a cheap trick before in this exact street. He didn’t mind Finral’s touch, however. 

Far above them past the washing lines of hanging clothes and opposing neighbours screaming profanities at the other from their attic windows, the castle jutted out. Langris still surprised himself that he had listened to Mimosa’s recommendation and his favourite shop was now situated in the Common Realm. The place remained vulgar. Nevertheless, he also found freedom in it. Like licking his fingers indulgently from that cherry cake. Doing so in front of a noble would send them in a fit. 

In the corner of his eye, Finral followed his movements intently. Langris faced him annoyedly. “Do you have something to say, nii-san?”

Finral glanced over to a shop in the opposite direction. His ears were red. “N-No. You seemed to enjoy the treat and it makes me happy, that’s all.”

Langris didn’t say anything. When they got to a less crowded spot, he cornered him. Finral jumped at the sudden attack. “What is the matter with you today? You’re acting very odd.”

“W-What do you mean? Nothing is wrong!” Langris quirked an eyebrow. 

“Your face is completely red.”

Finral fumbled, touching his face. “It is?” He must have caught Langris’ look turning worried, so he gave in. “F-Fine. Yesterday, we had a mission and I was… hit with a trap spell? A deviant of it. Nero healed me, but there are some after effects that leave me dizzy. But it’s nothing dangerous!”

Langris gaped at him. “Haaaah?! You should have told me so from the start! We could’ve picked another date.” 

Finral was ready to protest, but Langris wasn’t having any of it. He stepped forward and took Finral’s right hand in his, which immediately shut him up. Langris grimaced at the red burns dotting it, tracing them once with his thumb. “For crying out loud, you’re absolutely hopeless,” he mumbled. “Go home and rest. Let someone look after this too before it scars.” 

He started searching for a broom, talking in the meantime, “Do not worry about my schedule. It is not a big problem for me.”

“I… I don’t mind spending time with you too.”

“Langris.” 

“Hm?”

Finral hugged him out of nowhere. He was squeezed against his chest, the familiar scent of the shop’s sweet pastry and his brother’s lavender enveloping him. Two old women walked past them, sniggering and mouthing, ‘it is nice to be young’. Langris was mortified, going red in the face himself. “Nii-san! What are you doing?!” he hissed. “You are drawing unnecessary attention!”

Finral let go of him. He looked a bit dazed. “Sorry, it was in the spur of the moment. But nobody was around. See? Those old ladies will find something else to gossip about in a few minutes.”

“You’re clearly not in a right state of mind. I’m going to find a broom and take you back to your base.” 

Finral waved his head and hands. “Wait! My magic isn’t affected! You don’t need to carry me behind!” He coughed, inaudibly adding something, but Langris could only catch the words ‘critical damage’. 

He offered timidly, “I can even take you back to the Golden Dawn Headquarters.”

“There’s no need. Captain Vangeance asked me to change an order for the uniforms of the new recruits. It is a pain, but the shop is nearby and it would be better if I went in person.”

Finral nodded slowly and opened a portal. “I will drop off the tart in your office then.” 

Langris nodded back, knowing that his squad mates would take care of Finral were he to wear himself out. “Thank you. Then we shall see each other again at your party.”

“Don’t be getting cold feet now,” he half-jokingly shot at him.

Finral simply smiled at him and waved, then disappeared into the portal. 

\---

“Nii-san is acting strange.”

Langris frowned at the letter before him, the cursive writing reminding him of the ball of the lord of the Montforte House - the same date his bumbling brother had invited him for his party. 

He sat behind a bureau, working through a stash of papers and letters. The evening sun filtered in, coloring the lavish yet practical furniture in the Vaude study golden. Finesse, who was situated on a chaise longue across the room and working on embroidery, looked up. 

“Acting strange? In what manner?”

“He was quite jittery. Has he not displayed such behaviour with you?”

Finesse said softly, “No, not at all. But Finral-san is an excitable person; he must have been delighted to spend time with you again.” She smiled fondly. 

“Hmmm.” He wrote down a refusal to Montforte’s invitation. The last passage urged him on to accept by stating the lord ‘would be most delighted with his presence’; so he wheedled colorfully through his apology and wrapped it up with flattery, holding the capricious and easily scorned nature of the lord in mind. He already expected complaints and Ledior’s long lectures on the importance of maintaining house relations. 

Oh, the things he did for love. 

“He did invite me to a party a week from now for his husband-to-be-status. Yet he mentioned you haven't decided on a date for the wedding itself,” he said. “Truly, forgive my wishy-washy brother. I promise you I will give him a good _kick_ -start or else you will not be wed within the next ten years.” 

She opened her mouth and fell into a heavy cough, grasping her hand over it. Langris set aside his papers. 

“Should I call for your personal maid?” he asked worriedly.

She managed out, “No... there’s no need to trouble Anne. It is a minor one.” Her cough did subside. The tension in his shoulders dissipated slowly. 

“Are you sure you do not want to rest?” 

She shook her head and said, “I wish to finish this,” she tilted the embroidery, “in secret as it is a gift for her. For all the songs she composed for me. Uncle must not know of it.”

Finesse playfully held a finger up to her lips and Langris sighed and mirrored her, signing it off as their secret. 

Finesse’s magic worked like a curse in essence. The nature of it was marvelous as she naturally resupplied others with mana, but it left her own mana levels unstable and her own immune system weak. Since her childhood Finesse had a maid assigned specially due this; her magic neutralised mana and was able to bring Finesse’s in harmony through music - but she could only do so much for her. 

Finesse's mother had possessed the same type of magic as Finesse and passed away soon after her birth. The King prized Finesse to pass on her magic, hopefully to a healthy kin. So he deprived Finesse even of activities required of a noble woman 'for the sake of her health'. To not 'exert herself more than necessary'. But Finesse rarely listened and Langris sympathised with her. 

If she didn't abide by these little rules to exert her life and prove it consisted of more than acting as the winning lot of her family line, then he understood very well. 

Finesse broke the silence in the room. 

“Pardon me for my forwardness in asking this, but have you held any romantic feelings for me since we met?”

Langris halted his work. Servants visited them occasionally. It was partly at the order of his father to keep watch on any inappropriate behaviour. And this was a dangerous topic to broach. They were lucky enough Ledior allowed them to meet with just the two of them at all. 

He said carefully, “At the time I did not consider it much. Marriage was a duty I had to fulfill for the house. Nothing more.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “Alas, I do not believe it is in my person to hold romantic affections for others.” 

The handsome male faces of the ones he fancied flashed in his mind, as if to call him a liar. And one stood out brilliantly, appearing clearer than his past crushes on his squad mates and he _squashed_ it. 

He hated this subject so, so much. 

“You may say that you have never loved me, it is alright. I have never felt it in such a way either, but I was afraid it might have hurt your feelings if I addressed it.”

Any other person might have indeed trampled on his pride and had him go cold with such a remark, but he merely snorted. 

“Do not worry. My ‘feelings’ aren’t so easily hurt. I have never 'loved' you, no.”

Finesse nodded and smiled. “Your bluntness is a fresh breath from the court talk. Please never change yourself around me.” Langris snorted again as a way to say 'tell me about it'. 

“Would it have been alright for us to marry back then, Langris?” she contemplated out loud. 

Langris was stupefied. He said slowly, “Yes. Marriage serves a means to an end. A way to consolidate power and trust between houses. It makes for a valid reason to enter one,” he dropped his quill pen, his eyes darted around and then he faced Finesse, “but from an individual standpoint I do not think it would have made either of us happy.”

Finesse hummed, “Yes, I think so too. I am relieved we are again on the same page.”

“Marriage as it is won't hold any ground anyway,” Langris scoffed. “Rumour has it the youngest Silva girl is dead set on marrying the Black Bulls loudmouth. It’s causing quite an upheaval.” Finesse chuckled at this and Langris sighed. “Yet it is not the only marriage popping up in the higher circles that is based on personal feelings alone rather than social standing or magic potency. I am not a philanthropist or a reactionary like nii-san and his friends, so maybe I am not a good man to speak on it, but the business-like approach to it is outdated already.”

Then he shrugged. “But you won't have to worry about any of that as you and nii-san are made for each other.” He chiseled away at his heart, but he could not bare a sliver of such feelings, not in the face of Finesse’s happiness. 

Clouds passed by and gathered in a grey-blue sea closing in the dawning sky, dulling the golden glow spreading across the room. Finesse bowed her head and her raven hair cascaded around her like a black veil. Her hands diligently continued threading the needle through, beautiful white lilies and gardenias patterning the cloth of her embroidery; she didn't slow down, mouthing out, “It would be a nice thing if Finral-san can spend his future with the one he loves.”

Langris' feet shifted. Something was off about her phrasing. Very off. 

Finesse tilted her head as if sensing his discomfort. “And you too, Langris. I do not believe that you do not feel affection. In all this time, I've come to see you as a passionate and delicate person. You feel emotions in abundance, while you do hide this very well from others." 

"But in your attempts to hide them I feel that you deprive yourself of so much, when you deserve happiness like any other.” She held the embroidery against her chest. "Sometimes our desires may seem unattainable, like all the odds are stacked against us. And sometimes we will set them aside for the sake of others. But the feelings will bottle up. You can't lie to your own heart."

The speech flowed out of her, both controlled and fervent, as if unclogging her wind pipes from mold that has impeded her for too long.

And in a rare instance, Langris found himself at a loss for words. “Why are you telling me this?” he said hesitantly.

“Because I find it painful to see you suffering on your own. You've had an air of melancholy about you.” Finesse looked sympathetically. “Langris… what is it that saddens you so much?”

Just like that she unwrapped him like cellophane. He opened his mouth, tightening his grip on his knee, then closed it again, to stumble out next,

“Are you and nii-san going through with the wedding?”

Finesse smiled sadly.

“I am sorry, I made a promise. Finral-san ought to talk to you about it first.”

\---

A storm razed through the Golden Dawn Headquarters. Everyone avoided the eye of it; nobody dared to approach the ginger man for work-related matters, let alone ask for the cause of his bad tantrum. 

Klaus whispered to Mimosa that it was a good thing Yuno was in the Spade Kingdom, for his bad habits in regards to reading the atmosphere would've left the building riddled with holes. One glare had Klaus silent, apologising quickly. Per his luck David came by and he smoothed over the situation with his innate talent for flexible conversation, taking Klaus elsewhere.

Even William largely left the short-tempered man to himself, assigning him tasks that avoided intense contact with others. He extended him a quiet and gentle reminder to take care of himself. 

Langris however couldn't care less about anything but the anger that consumed his every move; he wore it like an outer armor for the disbelief he felt inside. Finesse's answer rang in his ears during missions, when he addressed his subordinates, when he prepped for dinner and the loudest at night. The rational part of him which said he should calm himself first and seek for enquiry after was subdued by his fears. So he threw himself in his work - until it couldn't distract him anymore, at least. Finally, he decided to tackle the problem at its root. 

He found his victim in a brunet youth, a new recruit who hadn't even received his cape yet, who was slacking in the courtyard. The Vice Captain grabbed his shoulder, kindly asking if he 'wouldn't terribly mind running an errand', complementing his 'request' with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. 

The youth immediately saluted and flew for it.

Langris spent hours in his office, blindly scribbling and rhythmically stamping papers, teeth gritted all the while.

And then the unsure knock came. 

The small man stamped over and threw the door wide open. He briskly walked away and Finral shuffled in behind him, hands wringing over each other - he didn't have the gal to teleport in casually.

“You called for me and it seems urgent. Did something happen?”

Langris still had his back to him, mouth shut tight. 

Finral tried again, laughing awkwardly, “You know you shouldn't act so scary with the newbies. The poor kid is terrified. Captain Yami said he was peeing his pants. I felt sorry for-”

“Why are you and Finesse still addressing each other formally? She calls you 'Finral-san', you know.”

Finral looked surprised. “Isn't it normal? We aren't officially wed, so of course we put some distance between us-”

“False. Finesse-san dropped the honorific for me after a year. She asked me as well, but it was unfitting to me because she's five years my senior. You're a romantic. You would drop it at the slightest chance. Why have you both still not set a date for the wedding?”

Finral averted his eyes. “That's… we have both been busy. And you know me, right? Your good-for-nothing brother messing around too much, not knowing how to start a thing. That's nothing new.”

Langris suddenly turned, setting himself up close to Finral's face. “Do not take me for a fool, _nii-san_ ,” he spat, “you're clumsy and indecisive, but the moment you _do_ make up your mind about something, you won't let anything hold you back. You're strong. So drop this self-deprecating act.”

Finral's expression became unreadable. Some redness spread across his cheeks that Langris could only interpret as shame.

“...you aren't getting married, are you?”

“We haven't reached a definite decision,” Finral folded in on himself, “but we have considered breaking it off. I am sorry. I wanted to tell you this during our meeting, but I lost my nerve.”

“Why?”

“We want different things. And I am not sure how long we could go on like this and pretend everything is alright.”

“ _Why_?”

“Because I am not- I am not in love with her.”

“What?!” Langris clamoured, “Why now? After everything you did to get so far?! You've been vying for her since you first saw her!!” 

“Yes, I was. I thought I was. But the further it went on, the more it felt something was missing. And it came to me that I didn't do it because it was what I wanted. I just followed your words. I did it more for you-”

Langris' mouth fell open and Finral stopped immediately.

He had truly believed they were past this.

Finral stammered, “W-wait, that came out wro-”

“It is so easy to use me for your shortcomings, is it not, nii-san?” he laughed mirthlessly. “Because that is all I do, don't I? Stand in the way of the things you want. And bring you pain.” Finral’s eyes widened in shock and Langris shut his mouth quickly. 

He had said too much.

Langris stormed towards the exit mumbling an ‘excuse me’, but Finral grabbed him by the hand. “Wait! Langris, that is not what I meant at all!”

He lingered. Finral took it as a sign that he had not overstepped his bounds and the grip on his hand softened. “Please, let me explain.”

Langris scowled.

“Please by all means, _do_ explain. Because as it stands all I see is someone trying to run away again like a coward,” Langris' mouth contorted further, “while playing me for a fool - inviting me to a party for a marriage that isn’t even happening.” 

Finral cringed. “It’s true that a lot of it doesn’t look good. I am not going to tell you that I am handling everything well; I am not. But what I meant before was not to blame you. When you told me to chase after Finesse-san, to stop flirting, I did it to prove to _you_ that I was capable. It wasn’t for Finesse’s sake and that is unfair to her.” 

Langris silently listened and Finral chattered on, “I can’t tell you the full story and only Finesse-san has the right to tell her side. It sounds dubious, I know. But if I did I would risk breaking…” Finral’s gaze centered on Langris, “...something very precious.” 

A warm summer breeze carried in and the curtains wisped with the wind. Finral interlaced his fingers slightly with Langris’ and the latter’s heart soared into his throat. He scoffed, trying to ignore the rising feelings, “I won’t press you for details. But… so what? You’re giving up on it just like that?”

“I am letting go of it. There’s something I wish for more, and it is fine that it has no chance of ever happening either. I am making my own choice, whatever the outcome.” 

The distance between them lessened to a degree where he could feel Finral’s body heat. His heartbeat’s pace picked up impossibly fast. Finral leaned in further. 

“So please believe me when I say I am not blaming any of it on you, or asking you to take responsibility. You’re not hurting me; I like being around you too much,” Finral’s other hand lightly caressed his shoulder, “and I’d never willingly hurt you.” 

Sunshine radiated out of his kind eyes and Langris bloomed all over. Electricity sparked in that small room and his field of vision filled with his brother’s lips, rosy and slightly parted, awaiting his answer. And he was ready to do something very, very bad. 

Finral always entangled him in feelings he did not want. Feelings he could never get past. 

Langris swallowed through his dry throat. 

“I am so disappointed in you.” 

With that he fled the scene towards anywhere that was not there. Nowhere in sight of that stifling, adoring and confusing gaze. Finral shouted after him but Langris refused to listen anymore. 

He marched without registering anything; past his squad mates throwing him worried glances; across the hallways and shadows of pillars and trees; accompanied by a chorus of cicadas crying a song of summer, and flitting images of a younger heartbroken mirage gasping inappropriately to the smell of lavender and another body’s sweat. 

When he returned to his office the scared brunet stood beside the entrance. He stammered whether he was done and Langris relieved him of his long winded task. 

He entered his office.

And as expected the room was consolatorily empty.


End file.
